Like Only Family Can

I’m going to be honest with you; my family has more than its fair share of weird and wonderful. In fact, I think every family does. We all have mothers who are super heroes who manage to do at least twice as much in one day as anybody else we know. We all have a step dad and/or a crazy uncle who is a borderline alcoholic (especially when you put the two of them together). And we all have a grandmother who has bigger parties than the whole of Stellenbosch combined.

It is just one of those things. Our families spend their lives embarrassing us but we love them anyway. Well, we do now that we have grown out of our teenage years. And truth be told we would do anything for our families which is why, when on a whim I decided to move to England, my uncle was the first person I called.

I refer to him as my uncle but actually he is one of those weird half, second removed type family members but who knows how that stuff works anyway. For the sake of this conversation let’s call him my uncle.

Anyway, I emailed him to tell him that I would be coming to England and before long I had guaranteed accommodation and the security of a familiar face.

What I had completely forgotten however is that my uncle has an acquired brain injury from a bout of encephalitis which left him unable to do things which we completely take for granted. Over the years he has relearnt many of those skills and has had a lot of progress, however there are still some things which he has not quite mastered.

This means that I got to London scared, tired and severely missing home and was immediately jolted into a world that I did not understand. A world in which I was staying with a man who I could barely understand, and who drooled incessantly, and my first reaction, I am ashamed to say, was one of judgement.

It was only that evening, when his wife got home that I began to see just what a struggle him and his wife were living through every day. I think I learnt more in my week of staying with them than I have in my entire life.

My uncle is an intelligent man who can tell you about the history of nearly every building in London. He loves nature and animals and he introduced me to a pair of swans that live on Regents Canal which he greets every day. Perhaps he struggles with a few things but I fear that deep down inside he is a far better human being than I am.

The strength that it must take to get out of bed every morning and to try to relearn things which you always took for granted, and not necessarily succeeding, is incredible.

And I have barely even mentioned his wife.

I got to know his wife, Robyn very well in the few weeks that I stayed with them. It seems the two of us both have wine in common. And for all the strength I saw in him I must have seen double that strength and an incredible patience in her. An acquired brain injury puts an unbelievable amount of stress on a relationship and yet they are currently in the Grand Canyon celebrating their wedding anniversary.

It is not easy. And I am sure that they both struggle. But next time you’re out with your crazy family and they’re embarrassing you for whatever reason; just remember that you actually love them to bits. And I must say, after staying with Alan and Robyn for only a couple of weeks, I am not only grateful for the roof they put over my head, but I love them. Like only family can!